Intro

There is something about not doing a story justice that really upsets me. Like really wanting to tell a joke to someone but it isn't funny to them because of missing context, but explaining the context does not do it justice either because the person did not experience the series of events with you that made it so much funnier. Or trying to explain why something made you upset, but the story you tell does not carry the full weight of what exactly happened in your mind when the events happened.

Every Detail Matters

Imagine watching your favorite show and something big happens in Episode 9. You feel strongly about the events and the outcome and you want to tell a friend who has never watched the show why it made you feel that way. How else would they understand if you don't tell them what Bethany did in Episode 2, and what Jacob did after that, and every single sub-plot in between leading up to that point? To some people, this might not matter. It's a straightforward 'this then that. THE END!'. A clear picture. 'She slapped you and you're upset, makes sense.'

Details add to accuracy. For me, every little thing leading to that point added a little nuance in the overall effect, and every little feeling along the way adds meaning to my current state. It is not one big picture with an obvious cause, but a collage that would mean nothing without all its little parts, viewed as a whole with all of its parts connected together in a complex, and sometimes non-linear way. If any part of it is removed, it removes a meaningful part that would've made it all make sense.

Why Complicate Things?

Understanding the depth of situations gives it more meaning. I desire to be understood, but I do not have the words to summarize what I feel, so I give all the details and micro-details hoping that one understands why I would feel that way. I have trouble identifying emotions, and I therefore do not have the words for how I feel, and the only way I can get the feeling across is through over-explaining. If I can't build the puzzle, I can give you the pieces, every single one. And if you do not have all the details, you cannot fully understand.

The Problem

Sometimes over-explaining makes it seem like I care too much about things that aren't even that important and I seem too emotional about some situations or subjects. I have also been told that I overcomplicate and overthink irrelevant situations, which leaves me feeling even more misunderstood. I also feel that giving so much detail every time I tell a story that means a lot to me might be overwhelming to the other person and I don't want to make people uncomfortable. I also don't want my behavior to be seen as controlling. I do not seek to project my emotions onto another person, but for them to truly understand why I would feel the way I feel.

Conclusion

I would like to explore this more and figure out a way around it. I only wrote from thought and have not looked at any sources yet. I would love to know if this is a universal experience or if I'm overthinking it so I'm definitely going to read about it. This is only a fraction of an explanation for something more complex. It is something I have done over a long period of time without actively thinking about it, but I hope this has given some insight.

Bye :)